NKVD

For my pal Becky. I took a trip to St Andrews with Arjun last week and shot this wee sequence with you in mind. If ever you’re feeling down, just take a look at this sequence and instantly your problems will pale into insignificance!

Up the stairs…

Getting closer…

And down we go!

Yours,

Anton Pavlovich

Book of the Film

I just put in the CD of Lamlash Church service from 12 December and look what iTunes thinks it is!

Father’s Day – it’s funny because it’s true

Here’s the card I got this morning from Freya and Hamish for father’s day. I almost sprayed my tea over the dining table! Nice choice, kids!

🙂

Norman Lovett’s slideshow

I’d never been to a stand-up comedy gig and quite fancied giving it a go. I saw that Normal Lovett, famous for his role as Holly in Red Dwarf, was doing a gig in Luxembourg City last Monday night and the reviews were pretty good, so I got a few mates and we went along.

I’m a fan of deadpan deliveries, so when I read in the review that he made Jack Dee look like Ken Dodd, I was all for it.

It was rather a strange gig as it happens. It really was a slideshow. Norman brought along two carousels of slides and just talked his way through them. The images themselves were rather dull and not particularly well taken either, but with Norman’s deadpan narration, they came to life. It was mostly shots of different towns and “landmarks” across the the UK. I put landmarks in quotation marks as they were not landmarks in the traditional sense, but rather those things that were Landmarks to nobody but Norman (chewing gum on pavements, inconsiderately parked sports cars, a Volvo estate with funny stickers on it, that sort of thing).

All in all it was a fun night but nobody was rolling around the aisles.

Why men don’t write advice columns!

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here.  The other day I set off for work leaving y husband in the house watching the TV as usual.  I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes.  He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn’t find his own underwear.  But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he’d been wearing my clothes for six months.  I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.  I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.  Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs Sheila Lusk

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.  Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.  If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold.  If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter